A Cyclist’s Guide to Portaloo Etiquette

You're going to encounter one at nearly every organised cycling event. Here's how to handle it, how to avoid "the blue tattoo," and what to do if you drop your phone in.


Christina Bonnington |

Using a porta-potty at a bike race should be a straightforward thing—it’s just a toilet, right? But some people seem to turn into uncivilised animals when their restroom lacks indoor plumbing.“It’s important to know that portable restrooms are engineered NOT to smell if they are maintained correctly and everyone does their part,” says Tom Ramsay, director of marketing and customer service at Northwest Cascade, the parent company of portable toilet maker Honey Bucket. “Portable restrooms can handle about 250 average uses with no problem between cleanings.”We’ve had our share of bad (and not-so-bad) times with these portable plastic fixtures. Here’s how to make the experience as quick and painless as possible—for yourself, and everyone else after you.

Avoid the blue tattoo

You may think it’s glorious being the first to use a portable restroom on race day, but with no material down there, splashing is a very real issue. Toss in some toilet paper or seat covers to avoid that blue liquid splashing up and staining your bum—giving you the “blue tattoo.” And it will stain you: that blue stuff contains a large amount of dye (it includes fragrance, surfactants, and biocides, too).

RELATED: 5 Body Odours You Should Never Ignore

Throw waste “into the blue”

While the blue stuff doesn’t necessarily sanitise, its biocides do interact with waste to inhibit odour-causing bacteria. If what you toss in doesn’t hit that blue liquid, its odours won’t be masked. So whenever possible, try to throw used toilet paper “into the blue” rather than “on top of the pile” to increase how much gets deodorised, and thus reduce smell. If the blue liquid has turned green, that’s a sign it’s not doing its job anymore.

Clean up after yourself

Some wisdom for the ages: “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be real sweet and wipe the seat.” If your urine splashed onto the floor or toilet seat, take five seconds to wipe it up with toilet paper. The next person (who could be your future self) will thank you.

RELATED: A Step-by-Step Guide to Cleaning Your Bike

Put the lid down

Always put the lid down when you’ve finished your business to trap bad smells down where they belong (especially on hot days). “If you close the lid when done, then the smell will go up the vent and out of the restroom,” says Ramsay.

Notify event organisers about any problems

Bowl almost full? Portable restroom out of toilet paper? Let the event organisers know so that they can address the issue. However, if you find yourself with no toilet paper a little too late, just tear off some toilet seat cover. It’s not as soft, but will get the job done.

Don’t use it as a changing room

Don’t sap up the valuable time of others by changing clothes in the portable—change in your car. Bring a towel or a changing skirt to cover your bits, if needed. Changing at your vehicle also eliminates the risk of dropping your undies into the toilet, which is far worse than another cyclist catching a glimpse of your chamois-free booty.

Don’t obsess over germs

Despite fear-mongering posts to the contrary, you’re not any more likely to contract an illness from a portable restroom than an indoor one, as long as you practice good hygiene. “I have never heard of an event where masses of people got sick because of the portable restrooms—the food maybe—but not the restrooms,” Ramsay says. If you’re concerned, open and close the door with a paper towel, sanitise your hands afterwards, and don’t place personal belongings on the floor.

Hold the door open for the next guest

It may feel awkward, but I’ve never not appreciated it when the person before me holds the door open. It’s friendly and gives the port-a-loo a waft of fresh air. And typically, if someone is willing to hold the door open for you, chances are they didn’t just trash the place.

Lock the door behind you

No one wants to walk in on you, but if you don’t fully slide the lock on the door, it’ll happen. Conversely, if you’re not 100 per cent sure the stall is empty, it’s good practice to open the door tentatively. This gives the person inside a chance to yell out before you’ve ogled them bibs-only.

Plus: What to do if you drop something in

As you carefully slipped off your jersey before sitting down, your phone slithered out, down into the depths of the portable toilet. You have two options: You can forget about it and go buy a new phone ASAP. Or you can launch a rescue mission. Most portable restrooms aren’t that deep. Grab a plastic bag, and turn it inside out. Put your hand inside, reach down, and grab your phone. Turn the bag right-side out, and seal up your phone inside. If you can, power it off. When you get home, commence disinfecting the device with a 1:1 solution of isopropyl alcohol and distilled water. Or try a UV-based phone sanitiser. Still, while you’ll be able to kill the germs, you’ll never be able to kill the memory of what happened to it.

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