When Russian chemist Dmitry Mendeleyev created his Periodic Table of Elements in 1869, little did he know that his now-iconic chart would be reimagined an estimated 700 times—sometimes scientifically, other times (ahem) not so much. In that spirit, we’ve identified and categorised 58 essential elements of cycling. You can even get them all on one poster!
Tour de France: For three weeks a year, the rest of the world finally gets us. ● Eddy Merckx: If he didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him. ● Tan lines: The mark of a beast. ● Moab: How did geology know mountain biking was just 3.9 billion years away? ● Colour: Racing careers end,but Molteni orange, Bianchi celeste, and Giro pink are forever.
Flow: When you’re in it,nothing else matters. ● Air: The bigger, the better. ● Fun: Suffering’s (equally noble) foil. ● Oxygen: You breathe it, burn it, and battle for it. ● Aero: It’s everything. So we hear. ● Watts: Now supplanting HR as the measurement of record. ●
Bike Fit: Where power and comfort begin. ● Balance: An invisible, fragile, powerful, and incalculable force. Like love.
Shower Beer: The answer is always: Yes, you’ve earned one. ● Rain: It really, really, really sucks. Until you’re wet. And then it’s awesome. ● Sweat: You have nothing more to prove. ● Snot: Blow it like you mean it—or risk wearing it. ● Coffee: Your ride starts here. ● Water: Essential for life—without it, there would be no coffee.
Hammer: When you want to crush souls. Leadout: Cycling’s trust fall. ● Jump: More powerful than gravity—for an instant (that feels like an eternity). ● Fix: Master it and you’ll never walk home. ● Crash: Going down makes staying up sweeter. ● Everyday Riding: Makes errands fun—and saves the world. ● Braap!: Wooo! and Whee!’s rowdier cousin. ● Pee Stops: Sometimes you’ve gotta go. (And other times you just need a break.) ● Dawn Patrol: Seize the day before your day. ●
Corner: The instant where skill trumps fitness. ● Draft: Thanks, Science. ● Sock Doping: If it’s wrong, we don’t wanna be right. ● Coasting: Cycling’s advantage over running.
Dogs: Remember, you don’t have to outride the dog, just one friend. ● Life: That little thing we schedule around riding. ● Bonk:Your legs wrote a check… and it just bounced. ● Wind: Heads = hell. Tails = heaven. ● Pain: Digging deep is like using a neti pot—initially unpleasant but ultimately satisfying. ●Climb: Your best frenemy.● Gravity: Undefeated, but always worth fighting. ● Traffic: Often slower than you.
Wheels: The real circles of life. ● Fat Tyres: On road or dirt = way more fun. ● Steel: Romance that never dies. ● Asphalt: Smooth under your tyres, rough on your skin. ● Frame: This is the bike. ● Components are clothes. ● E-Bikes: Want to get everyone riding? ● Heart: Pumps blood, enables triumph. ● Stroopwafel: World’s most beloved ride snack is as fun to say as it is to eat. ● Peanut Butter: Good on your banana, bad on the ’cross course. ● Fuel: It makes every ride possible. Its more palatable form, food, is the reward. ● Wool: You know what lives in sheep’s clothing. ● Suspension: Humankind’s victory over washboard.
Strava: If it’s not on Strava… it totally still happened. #relaxyo ● Gym: Therapeutic when taken medicinally; toxic in large doses. ● Pack: The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. ● Dirt: Adventure begins where the pavement ends. ● Bike Shop: Church, bar, home. ● Velodrome: Want to ride one? Simple: Go fast. Turn left.
