Minute 0:
I’m good to go. Shoes on, shorts on, bike is set up just right, Showmax queued up. I’m basically a trainer professional.
Minute 1:
Oh. Forgot my Garmin. And my water bottle. Better stop before I get too invested in this.
Minute 2:
*Limps back to bike.* Forgot the kitchen floor would be slippery in cycling shoes.
Minute 10:
Wow, how is it so hot in here?
Minute 15:
Heat adaptation. It’s just heat adaptation.
Minute 20:
Should I be measuring how much sweat is pooling on the floor? I think I might be dehydrated.
Minute 29:
Almost to 30 minutes. That means that I’m… 33.3 per cent there.
Minute 45:
Legs. So. Heavy. Are my brakes on?
Minute 46:
… I mean my tyre at least has to be too tight on the roller.
Minute 60:
An hour! I am a trainer LEGEND!
Minute 61:
Crap. That’s the end of Game of Thrones. What do I watch now?
Minute 65:
Sooooooooooo very bored. Very very very.
Minute 70:
Sprint! Sprint! Seriously, start sprinting! Come on, legs!
Minute 75:
Man, I hope someone’s home because I might collapse.
Minute 81:
Under 10 minutes. The end (and the shower) are so, so near!
Minute 90:
VICTORY IS MINE! *Climbs triumphantly off the bike, waving to make-believe fans.*
