I’m writing this from a Mugg & Bean – the only place safe from the prying eyes of Cape Town’s elite cyclists, who would never drink their cortados at a coffee chain. 

There are a handful of protagonists in the race to become Kings of the Atlantic Seaboard – the official title, coined by an anonymous Instagram account in late 2023, and a far greater accolade than making it onto the top step at the Old Mutal Wealth Double Century.

The major players are Pure Savage (Cape Town’s most insufferable cycling group), Mother Amateur Bicycling Club (media-savvy hipsters with moustaches) and La Perla Classic (also known as LPC, and made up of elite Cape citizens on the wrong side of 45). In recent years, new players such as East City Cycles (just a bike shop, really) and Café Racers (Corner Shop Racers, more like) have tried to throw down the gauntlet; but I wouldn’t class them up there with the Big Three.

Savage, Mother and LPC all ride the same training route on the Atlantic Seaboard, on the same day; but at ever-so-slightly different times, so they don’t have to ride together. And the ultimate decider for Kings of the Atlantic Seaboard honours – besides the various Strava segments at stake – is the annual showdown at the DC. 

But once again, let me be quite clear: this is not about winning the Double Century. The goal is to be Kings of the Atlantic Seaboard.

To the ‘cheaters’ go the spoils

Mother ‘won’ in 2024. But did they really? No, they cheated – end of story. In fact, they even proudly declared their wrongdoing!

And cheating is precisely what they did again at last’s year’s DC: they sat in the slip of ASAP Cycling-Team EuroSteel – in clear contravention of DC rules – and hung on for dear life until the end. (I know this because I was right there with them, having dropped off the back of my team…)

But Savage, too, are not above some dabbling in the dark arts. In 2023, they were so hellbent on winning that they went on a massive ‘signing spree’. 

I call this their Import Era. They threw out their entire club ethos – ‘show up for rides, improve each week, move up the club rankings and hopefully make the DC team’ – and went straight to inviting top riders to race. They ended up with some EuroSteel riders in their team that year; but they went out too hard, and completely blew.

Last year they tried to game the system again, persuading guys like Marc Pritzen to join them. In fact, it’s a bit embarrassing that ‘Pure’ Savage – even with riders like Pritzen, Gustav Basson, Felix Stehli and Kyle Mitchell in their midst – didn’t win the Kings of the Atlantic Seaboard in ’24. They had big ambitions for the 2024 DC; but on the day, they just couldn’t beat Mother’s ‘superior tactics’.

Savage really go all out to win – it’s life or death, for some of their riders. I know of a few who only train for the DC, expend all their physical and emotional energy on the event, then want to give up cycling completely afterwards. Another of their riders – admittedly a beast – does crazy diets a week before race day, cutting out carbs or eating only fats; and then totally blows at the DC. The race makes guys do weird things.

There was also the infamous ‘dossier leak’ that showed how seriously Savage takes the race. They created a confidential PDF for their DC group (‘Red Team Empties the Tank’) that broke the race down into sectors and segments, with individual tactics for when certain riders should attack or go flat out. Cape Town being the size of a fishbowl, the PDF was leaked immediately, bringing much joy to the other teams. 

Rumour has it that this year, the Savage riders received calendar invites for training rides and training camps. Special tips were sent to certain riders looking a bit past their prime… Allegedly they have a helmet sponsor on board, and some of the riders are not even taking milk with their coffee in order to shed a few kilograms. I heard the programme is called ‘Project 25’. It’s pretty focused! 

Will they, won’t they?

Apparently, the Mother guys aren’t riding DC this year. Well, their spokesman, Jared Kieser, has said they’re not riding; but I think that’s… bullshit, quite honestly. They’re either assembling the most badass team ever, or they’re going to lean into that ride-for-vibes thing (the racing equivalent of oat milk) and bring a 12-person crew to get some lame Charles Milner award. 

See, the Mother guys may be the unofficial Kings of the Atlantic Seaboard, but they’re the official kings of banter. At the moment, they’re peddling a nonsense message – something about ‘quitting while we’re at the top’ – which the rest of us find hard to believe. To me, they’re a bit like a Guy Ritchie movie – you never know what’s going to happen next.

It’s hard to gauge what LPC is up to this year – they’re too old to figure out how WhatsApp works, so you never get any leaks from the group. 

They like to think they’ve modernised, but they’re just too far behind the pack when it comes to tech. I was talking to one of their riders recently, and he happily showed me that the team does have a WhatsApp group – I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was showing me a note on iMessage. And their Instagram account has a whopping four posts, the last one uploaded in November 2024…

“Their best scam was recruiting Jasper Stuyven – yes, the winner of the 2021 Milan-San Remo! It didn’t help – they still couldn’t win.”

But while not exactly tech-savvy, LPC do have deep pockets, and they’ve also been known to employ some underhand tactics when it comes to rider recruitment. They once enticed top cycling coach Reece McDonald to race for them (bringing the club’s average age down by about 10 years); but their best scam was recruiting Jasper Stuyven – yes, the winner of the 2021 Milan-San Remo! (It didn’t help – they still couldn’t win.)

The thing with LPC, though, is that they’re always… simmering. They pretend they’re not interested, but they’re always out there, training hard. They train hard, and they ride hard. I think that’s why they always blow; because really, they have only one riding and racing philosophy – they just murder each other.

Still, no matter what happens, they always have their honour. They go balls to the wall, and never make excuses; for aloof, larney okes, they’re not too bad. 

After the DC last year, a lot of teams were out partying in Swellendam. Some guys sent the LPC team a tray of tequilas, along with a page of their team’s autographs. LPC sent back a serviette with a message, asking if that team was able to afford the drinks. So LPC are not like Mother, who are so Capetonian they only socialise with each other. 

Too close to call

It’s impossible to call a winner this year. 

We’re uncertain of Mother’s participation. Café Racers – pretenders at the best of times – won’t feature. I stand by ECC being a bike shop rather than an actual team; I don’t recognise their claims to legitimacy.

Savage? Anything could happen. From my intel, they’re behind the fitness curve. They also have the worst race prep of all the teams, when it comes to accommodation – one year, their riders slept on the floor of a barn, an hour’s drive from the start! 

LPC look solid right now. Plus, they’ll roll off their yachts and straight to the start in their tour bus. They might be the bookies’ favourite… 

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